This past month I feel I am started to grow in Christ again. However, the more I discover and learn, the more I realized that I am not satisfied in who I have become. Although I feel I have complete faith in Christ in some areas of my life, I now acknowledge that my faith is shallow everywhere else. Despite the fact that all my basic needs are supplied to be daily, sometimes I still feel that God owes me something – whether it be material, an explanation or a reason. This is the stereotypical “American faith.” And then during the good times, we credit God for the success, but we are also incredibly quick to credit ourselves as well. But after the celebration, we crash back into the state of the indebted-beneficiary relationship.
If I am going to praise God, it is not going to be times of prosperity and good fortune. If I am going to worship the gift Holy Spirit, it will not be based on my fickle, ever-changing emotions and feelings that day. If I am going to follow Christ, it will not be because I think I can do so with any of my own power. That is a shallow faith; that is what I reject.
I much rather praise the God who protects me through trials just enough to let me learn and grow from them. I much rather worship the gift of the Holy Spirit that encourages me to love others more than I love myself. I much rather follow Christ who is beyond empathetic because He has experienced the same struggles and temptations that I am going through. That is the deepwater faith; that is what I desire.