Wednesday, March 25, 2009

More about Not Worrying

To piggyback off something someone else wrote earlier this year, it seems that I have good reason to worry. Since getting married, I feel I’m on the frontlines of two different battles: school and finances. It’s not good for my mind, but a day rarely goes by where I’m not concerned about either one (or sometimes both) and this worrisome habit is something that I would like to be free from. Wednesdays, more so than Mondays, always seem like the beginning of my week. I like to start it by spending time with God in the morning and focusing on my daily prayers. By the end of the week (Sunday), I’ve usually slipped and have fallen (very) short of my goal.

But today seemed a bit different, I looked over my bills and rent and my bank statement and found something comforting – that they money earned as almost equal to the money going out. Considering summer is right around the corner, heating bills will drop and twice-a-week 40 mile round-trips end in May, I’m relieved that we’ve made it out of the winter season alive without losing too much in the bank. I remember spending many-a-day before getting married pouring and exhausted over spreadsheets composing worse case scenarios. Although perhaps a bit obsessive at points, the recession our country finds itself in now confirmed my worse thoughts, but the budget proved loyal and, surprisingly, very accurate and precise. It’s time to relax about this and enjoy the sunny weather and promising summer ahead.

School work this semester has seemed relentless this semester as well. Without having a semester break until early April, there has been no time for mental recuperation or catching up on long-term assignments. And I know I’m not alone in this because I see it all over my colleagues going through the same classes as me. Yet, it seems crazy to me that I’m toting one of my best semesters academically. Most certainly by God’s grace, no matter how weary I become everything turns out okay. As I look back on some of my other challenging semesters studying engineering, I find that God was always faithful to me during the tough times.

So why keep worrying? I don’t know why I have been all along, but I think now I realize that God has me safely in his arms. So I will try spend the better part of my day focusing on Him, trying not to sin, and rejoice because I do not need to worry about my future.

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